Just about how I feel right about now
I miss new york… =(
My favorite scene in the movie
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[She’s] better than the girl of my dreams. She’s real.
I’ve had the time to think.. and as much as I have come to the understanding that this is better.. I still miss my friend. I will always miss my friend. I will miss having someone who I can depend on, and feel like I can be myself with. I didn’t think that you would want to let that go so easily. But I was wrong. The part that hurts the most, is that while I thought our friendship meant something to you, it seems that it really didn’t.
Oh well… I guess this is how it has to be. When you are ready friend, I will be waiting.
Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breathe in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.
I thought for a bit that I am over it. I didnt really think about what “it” really is. And when I stop to think I realize that all I’m really over is the breakup. I’m frustrated that you haven’t taken the time to realize that you need me. It may sound conceited but I know you do, and you just need to come to see that for yourself.
I don’t want to wait forever, but it seems like you’re going to make me do it.
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